sanity.is.losing.its.grip

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Sanity. It was quickly losing its grip on Shatterwind. He felt as if soon he was going to lose all his memories and his thoughts -- although in his current state, he could care much less. He just wanted to go to StarClan and to apologize and repent for all the things he had done -- killed his friend Ashbreeze and being decieved by Amaryllis. How /could/ he have gone into battle with his friends?

Scars from the battle were still there, causing memories to flow painfully through Shatterwind's mind. Pictures of Ashbreeze with Amaryllis first showed, followed by Ashbreeze trying to breath and to cling onto life, and then finally the picture of Ashbreeze's dead body. How could he have done so?

Shatterwind walked through the forest, glad for the quiet and calmness that the glades surrounding him gave him. Well, they weren't exactly /glades/, for the trees were a dull and dark brown, for most of the trees were bare from their leaves.

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[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

"Why, Amaryllis, why?" Shatterwind whispered to himself, continuing to pad along in the forest aimlessly. Suddenly, he seated himself quickly and looked up at the sky. His eyes were brimming with tears and if you hadn't known his true dilemna, you would've thought that he looked mad -- with a ruffled pelt, wild looking eyes, and his speech was choked up with tears that were threatening to stream down his cheeks in a torrent-like flood.

"Ashbreeze! Come to me! Are you there? I need to know!" Shatterwind wailed up towards the sky, his cries echoing throughout the woods that soon devoured his cries with its eerie silence. "StarClan, hear me, please..." he murmured, his tone all of a sudden quiet. Settling down despite the cold that surrounded him, Shatterwind laid his head down and closed his eyes. Perhaps he would die and finally join the ranks of StarClan. After all, he didn't have any purpose left in life, did he?

[-MOVIN' SHATTERWIND TO STARCLAN HUNTING GROUNDS IN DREAMS-]

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[[:; [h] e a r t ::♥]]

A black shape, tipped with silver walked smoothly into the camp [Hey, he kinda loos like Moonrun! xDD], his muscular legs moving quickly beneath him as he spotted Shatterwnd. He smirked--this was what he waanted, for Amaryllis to follow him, and for Shatterwind to attack Amaryllis, maybe even kill her. It was all Shatterwind's choice, all Moonwind wanted to do was help. He flicked his tail and called to Amaryllis to come to where he was.

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Shatterwind looked up, hearing pawsteps fall nearby. He looked around wildly. Had another creature followed him? He took a few moments to breathe in the scents of the forest. Suddenly, a sharp scent that he recognized and was starkly familiar made its way to him. "Moonwind?" he called out in a questioning tone, looking for the familiar looking cat that had once belonged to EarthClan.

--x

Amaryllis followed Moonwind, a rather love stricken expression crossing over her face as she repeated Moonwind's words over and over in her mind. He has another she-cat back wherever he lives and he doesn't care for me. Tears were almost brimming in her blue eyes, but a spark of defiance also remained in them. If Moonwind wouldn't love her, then she would have to take certain measures to assure his love, but the question remained hung in her mind -- /would/ he eventually love her?

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"Yes?" Moonwind answered as he emerged from the trees, coming close to Shatterwind. "I've brought a friend along", he added, flicking his tail toward Amaryllis.

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Shatterwind's expression warmed as he saw Moonwind come out from behind the shelter of the trees. Soon, though, Shatterwind watched as a slender orange tabby cat -- strikingly pretty -- padded after Moonwind, a rather lovesick look written across her face, showing in even her sapphire blue eyes. For a moment, Shatterwind was about to tease Moonwind about finally finding a she-cat, but he caught his breath. Shatterwind blinked a few times before he recognized Amaryllis, the she-cat who had caused all the grief and pain for him and Ashbreeze. "You!" he hissed, his fur bristling.

--x

Amaryllis looked in surprise at Shatterwind's nature, but after all, what had she done to him when they had all been younger? She bowed her head, staring down at the ground. "Kill me, Shatterwind. I've done you wrong and I know that; kill me," she meowed in a soft voice, raising her eyes to meet Shatterwind's icy gaze for a moment before she brought it back down to the ground. So this was it. Moonwind hadn't been in love with her; he'd been bringing her to her death all along. Now that she thought about it, however, she deserved it.

A faint glimmer of her former self fought to make its voice heard in her head. Come on! The battle isn't lost yet! Use your charm and charm Shatterwind off of his paws again and you can make him and good old Moonwind here clash! Although it was a tempting thought, Amaryllis shook her head.

--x

Something wasn't right. Shatterwind blinked in surprise as Amaryllis made no move to attempt to charm him in any sort of way. Why? Where was the orange tabby she-cat whose every move was made to try to make him fall in love with her? "What's changed in you, Amaryllis?" he asked all of a sudden, his unsheathed claws sheathing and unsheathing as they worked at the ground with confusion.

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"Amaryllis," Moonwind murmured to Amaryllis, not bearing to see her like this. He thought it would be great seeing her like this, but now that the moment had come, Monwind knew he was not just as bad as her. "Please, don't kill her", he mewed to Shatterwind. "I know what she did to you, but if you kill her, you'll be just as bad as she was, like me." Moonwind touched his mzzle to Amaryllis' quickly, and whispered in her ear, "I don't have another she-cat," as if to say he did love her. But he didn't, although he was starting to like her more and more.

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Amaryllis recoiled from Moonwind's touch quickly. She twitched her ears as she heard the truth from him, but she wasn't exactly sure anymore what to think. Confusion and uncertainty glimmered in her eyes as she looked from Moonwind to Shatterwind and then back to Moonwind. "I..." she began, then faltered. What was she supposed to say? Uneasiness crept through her as she shifted uncomfortably in her current position, turning her sapphire blue gaze upon Shatterwind yet again. How would he reacct to this?

--x

"She made me kill Ashbreeze," Shatterwind hissed in a low voice, pure frustration in his furious glare in the direction of Amaryllis as he had a seething look written across his features. His ears were pinned back against his head and he nearly quivered as rage overtook his emotions. How could he let this she-cat, the one who had caused him so much grief and pain, remain alive in this world when she had probably killed so many other tomcats whose deaths had ben in vain?

"Moonwind, do you not know the story of what had happened? All of EarthClan knows, for StarClan's sake! Am I just supposed to let her, the one who made me have the blood of my friend staining my claws, just waltz away without a scar or two on her pretty little innocent face to remember me by?" Shatterwind hissed to the tomcat.

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[[:; [h] e a r t ::♥]]

Moonwind dipped his head to the warrior. "I only said not to kill her", he mewed back. "I respect your decision." He wondered how bad the cuts and gashes that Shatterwind would leave would be. Moonwind walked a couple tail lengths away from them, making sure he could cut in in case Shatterwind couldn't controll his anger.

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Amaryllis nodded at Moonwind's words. She felt a strange pang of something inside her as Moonwind stepped away, but ignored it. Staring at the ground with her bright blue eyes, she awaited Shatterwind's wrath. "Go ahead," she meowed, barely audible for anybody to here. She knew that she had wronged Shatterwind greatly and that she deserved what she was currently about to receive.

--x

Unable to vent his anger for much longer, Shatterwind quickly dashed up beside Amaryllis. Wrapping his more muscular frame around the slender frame of Amaryllis as she had done when she had first charmed him, he unsheathed his claws on one of his paws and raked them over the orange tabby she-cat's flank, making sure to leave a mark. He felt Amaryllis stiffen and tense up as he delievered the blow, but she didn't cry out. Out of frustration, his tail smacked Amaryllis in the face as his ears remained pinned against his cranium.

He unwound himself from around the she-cat, still glaring at her with a terrible venemous hatred. Leaping up into the air, he threw himself at Amaryllis, knocking her off of her paws and sending her flying through the air for a few moments before landing a few feet away with an audible thud. Still in his trance of rage and with his blue eyes like chips of ice, Shatterwind sprang forward towards Amaryllis, his teeth bared.

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Moonwind watched as Shatterwind threw himself at Amaryllis, and flinched a bit, but knew he should stay in case Shatterwind got too angry. He only watched Shatterwind though, not bringing himself to look at Amaryllis' wounds. He knew a couple of herbs for cuts and wounds, and thought that maybe he should treat the ginger she-cats wounds after the battle, but then thought that maybe she should suffer, like Shatterwind did.

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Amaryllis stared blankly at the ground, only aware of the misfortune and pain she had given Shatterwind so long ago. She closed her blue eyes, expecting her death to come any moment soon, even though Moonwind had told Shatterwind not to kill her. She saw a shadow loom near her, knowing almost instantly that it was Shatterwind.

--x

With ears still pinned to his head out of fury, Shatterwind stood next to Amaryllis, hatred in his eyes. He clamped his jaws on the fiery orange pelted she-cat's right shoulder, making sure that they sank firmly in. Again, Amaryllis stiffened immensely, and Shatterwind was satisfied at that fact.

Releasing his grip on her shoulder, Shatterwind glared down at the orange tabby colored she-cat. Oppening his mouth wide again with his teeth gleaming slightly in the sunlight, he clamped them around her neck gently, about ready to sink them into her neck, causing her even more pain -- and even a possible death.

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"Hey, wait, Shatterwind! Wait! Stop," Moonwind called to his friend, seeing that he was starting to bite Amaryllis' neck, and could kill her. Moonwind quickly walked over, and pushed Shatterwind away from Amaryllis, not wanting to risk another cat being killed. Moonwind could hurt Amaryllis al he wanted, but could not kill her.

[>>BLACKiE! ]}]

Half of Shatterwind wanted to immediately, at Moonwind's words, bite down even harder into the orange she-cat's neck. Intsead, however, he got pushed away by his friend, surprise glinting in his eyes as he looked at the black and silver tomcat. How could Moonwind care at all for Amaryllis? After all, she was a devious sort of cat; shouldn't Moonwind know that by now?

"Do you know how much pain and grief I could've been spared if she had never entered my life?" Shatterwind hissed to Moonwind, baring his teeth in the beginnings of a snarl as his ears remained pinned back against his head, pure dislike for the ginger colored she-cat raging in his eyes as his tail came in contact with the ground with a loud slapping noise.

--x

Amaryllis slowly opened her sapphire blue eyes as the pressure from Shatterwind's grip on her neck eased itself and drifted away. What was happening? She tried to shift herself into a better position on the ground so that she could see, but pain instantly shot throughout her ever single time she attempted to make a single move.

Confusion lit her deep cerulean colored eyes as she managed to turn her gaze from Moonwind to Shatterwind. What was happening? She had expected death to come since Shatterwind had been so enraged. What was going to happen now?

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"If you kill her, you'll be just as bad, and StarClan wil be angry. I know you don't care right now, but think, Shatterwid just think for a minute." Moonwind still did not look at Amaryllis, but his cold amber-gold gaze met Shatterwind's blue one, not flinching. He wondered if Shatterwind was actually going to listen to him. "Think about if you were Amaryllis."